24 Ağustos 2010 Salı
I realize that my attempt to blog in English is going down the drain. I wanted this one to be different than the Turkish blog, that’s why I was trying to tell my story here. But it doesn’t seem to work. Life’s own pace doesn’t really let me stop and go back to the past often. And frankly, I shouldn’t blame the pace of life or anything else, I just realized that I don’t like doing stopping and looking back in time. I’m not a person to keep organized photo albums and regular diaries of the past. I like treasuring the present moment so I hope this post will change the course of this blog.
7 Nisan 2010 Çarşamba
Second Anniversary
Today is the anniversary of my relationship with this city. We’ve been together for two years now. I haven’t seen much of Indonesia yet, but I can say that my roots are growing deeper in these grounds. The chemistry between me and Jakarta has been just right since the first time we’ve met. It’s not a pretty city, nor has the charisma that some of the ugly cities do. But I like this city.
I like it because there is sunshine. I like it because I can see big, lovely smiles through out the day, even if I don’t do anything nice in particular to deserve them. I like it because it makes me slow down and be aware of life, of myself. I just like it.
So happy anniversary to me. Here’s to you Jakarta!
18 Şubat 2010 Perşembe
Going out !
We started “going out” with this cute guy. “Going out” was the term we used to use those days, which didn’t require people to pronounce the word “relationship”. There were two aspects of this term being used. Turkish society had been going through immense changes over the last century. Our people had to jump from a conservative, religious, suppressed life to a modern, competitive and fast changing one in a very short time. Majority of the population in the big cities adapted themselves to this new life. However, there was still the rest of the country trying to catch up with the fast pace of the change. Therefore, relationships were seldom talked about openly in families and “going out” was an innocent term that didn’t have any resemblance to an intimate relationship. Although it was strong enough to make people uncomfortable, it was still a neutral, innocent word when it came to defining a relationship. This was one reason of the popularity of this term.
The other reason was the fear to break the code of new generation of Amazons. I think the fear of commitment, broken marriages and epic stories of free working women were on the top of their fame in Turkey in the 90s. “Commitment”, “marriage”, “having children” were scary words to the young working women. They just wanted to have a selfish, independent, irresponsible and free life. This was all they wanted and this they had. These women used live in packs like wild dogs, they were strong, independent, charming, clever and loved having fun. No men could be as witty as they were. They felt the pleasure of a black widow when they cunningly humiliated a man. However, the little girl hiding deep inside the amazon’s heart kept waiting for her prince charming. Whenever a member of the pack got engaged in a romantic and happy relationship, they were green with envy. They wanted a strong man, but they wanted to be stronger. They wanted their man to commit, but they were scared of commitment. They wanted to be protected and taken care of, but they wanted to be equal or even superior to their man. They wanted to have one night stands, but they felt sorry when they never received that telephone call next morning. They were amazed that none of their relationships worked out. They just couldn’t figure out why.
In this environment of free but unspoken relationships, men could easily approach women. Sadly, this new modern, open and horny generation of women changed the relationship concept in men’s head, too. Men also started looking for short term, meaningless relationships which is usually fine for most men. Respect and love started disappearing from the relationships so quickly that nobody realized what was missing. And there came a generation of unhappy relationships and unsatisfied people.
However, our relationship was different. We were really “going out” with this cute guy. We were having dinners, I was helping him in his dive center. He was clearly interested in me and I was definitely attracted to him. This guy was different than the rest of the men I knew, he respected my space, never even had an attempt to hold my hand. I loved the way he got all shy and blushed when he was with me. I knew that he respected me and wanted me so deeply that he didn’t want to take any risk to ruin what we had. I knew he was different and I knew I could live with him for the rest of my life. I just didn’t know if I was ready for that.
One day, he invited me over to his apartment for dinner. I thought this could be the night to start a real, romantic relationship. I accepted his offer and went to his appartment. He had set the table for two. He cooked vegetable rice and roasted chicken. I learnt much later that he put candles on the table and put them away several times. There were no candles when I came. We had a lovely dinner, and then he offered to watch some DVDs. We watched Matrix, then Gladiator, then Friends, all 10 seasons of it sitting side by side but not even touching each other. When it was almost 4 o’clock in the morning, I got pissed off and decided to go home. Just when I was going out, he said he’ll come downstairs with me. I found that meaningless, but didn’t comment. He opened the car’s door for me and kept holding it longer than necessary after I sat down and almost started the engine. I was really bored and asked him if he wanted to say anything. Then he said that he wanted to see me more often. He did see me often enough, I wanted him to speak his feelings out, but I was also impatient. “come and sit next to me” I said, and I kissed him.
The other reason was the fear to break the code of new generation of Amazons. I think the fear of commitment, broken marriages and epic stories of free working women were on the top of their fame in Turkey in the 90s. “Commitment”, “marriage”, “having children” were scary words to the young working women. They just wanted to have a selfish, independent, irresponsible and free life. This was all they wanted and this they had. These women used live in packs like wild dogs, they were strong, independent, charming, clever and loved having fun. No men could be as witty as they were. They felt the pleasure of a black widow when they cunningly humiliated a man. However, the little girl hiding deep inside the amazon’s heart kept waiting for her prince charming. Whenever a member of the pack got engaged in a romantic and happy relationship, they were green with envy. They wanted a strong man, but they wanted to be stronger. They wanted their man to commit, but they were scared of commitment. They wanted to be protected and taken care of, but they wanted to be equal or even superior to their man. They wanted to have one night stands, but they felt sorry when they never received that telephone call next morning. They were amazed that none of their relationships worked out. They just couldn’t figure out why.
In this environment of free but unspoken relationships, men could easily approach women. Sadly, this new modern, open and horny generation of women changed the relationship concept in men’s head, too. Men also started looking for short term, meaningless relationships which is usually fine for most men. Respect and love started disappearing from the relationships so quickly that nobody realized what was missing. And there came a generation of unhappy relationships and unsatisfied people.
However, our relationship was different. We were really “going out” with this cute guy. We were having dinners, I was helping him in his dive center. He was clearly interested in me and I was definitely attracted to him. This guy was different than the rest of the men I knew, he respected my space, never even had an attempt to hold my hand. I loved the way he got all shy and blushed when he was with me. I knew that he respected me and wanted me so deeply that he didn’t want to take any risk to ruin what we had. I knew he was different and I knew I could live with him for the rest of my life. I just didn’t know if I was ready for that.
One day, he invited me over to his apartment for dinner. I thought this could be the night to start a real, romantic relationship. I accepted his offer and went to his appartment. He had set the table for two. He cooked vegetable rice and roasted chicken. I learnt much later that he put candles on the table and put them away several times. There were no candles when I came. We had a lovely dinner, and then he offered to watch some DVDs. We watched Matrix, then Gladiator, then Friends, all 10 seasons of it sitting side by side but not even touching each other. When it was almost 4 o’clock in the morning, I got pissed off and decided to go home. Just when I was going out, he said he’ll come downstairs with me. I found that meaningless, but didn’t comment. He opened the car’s door for me and kept holding it longer than necessary after I sat down and almost started the engine. I was really bored and asked him if he wanted to say anything. Then he said that he wanted to see me more often. He did see me often enough, I wanted him to speak his feelings out, but I was also impatient. “come and sit next to me” I said, and I kissed him.
6 Ocak 2010 Çarşamba
preparation to realize a dream
Living in the tropics has been my dream since high school days. Sunshine has always filled me with positive energy and I literally used to hate winters in Turkey when I was a child. We used to have long, cold, fierce winters in Istanbul, before the seasons got mixed up. I remember roads getting blocked by snow for days, my mom having to bake our own bread and spending days without any shower because of frozen water pipes. The only good part was the unexpected school holidays and playing out in the snow, but even then, I never liked my toes getting numb from cold and the thousands of layers of clothes I had to wear to keep warm.
My collage days have passed watching the cloudy sky from the windows of dark, huge, cold classrooms, the deep voice of the lecturer fading slowly in my brain and me dreaming to be in a beach party on a tropic island. I was sure that I would worship the sun if I was a pagan as for me; sun was the source of vital energy. I would dream of having 12 month long summers, sandy beaches by the blue sea and an easy, peaceful life on an island. Every cold night that I went to bed with my socks on, I would wish I would wake up on a hammock by the beach next morning and I would want that with all my heart.
Of course, none of that happened and I had to graduate from university after going through four long winters in Istanbul. When I became a working young woman, I somehow managed to put those thoughts away in a locked section of my heart. Then, three things happened that changed the course of my life.
The first one was that I started working in adidas after spending several miserable years in factory floors. It happened so smoothly and easily that I didn't even realize what kind of opportunities were about to open up for me. I used to enjoy working in a factory because I was learning tons of interesting stuff. After all, I was a typical engineer, as I still am, and I loved being in the middle of production, where everything happened. However, the working conditions were tough. I was trapped in long working hours and a never ending stress to keep deliveries. I knew I had to change my life when I realized I had no friends left and the only dreams I was having were nightmares of late shipments in a factory setting. When I saw the adidas ad in the newspaper, I just sent my CV without giving it much thought. It was probably the first or second job I had applied after deciding to change my job. The only reason I wanted
to work there was that I didn't want to work in a factory any more. The interview was so funnny. I was interviewed by a Senior Merchandiser named Ebru, and it was everything but a job interview. We had found out that we had graduated from the same university and even spent a few years in the same high school. We had lots of common friends. She had also spent a few years working in factories, so she knew exactly why I was there. She told me all about the life in a liaison office, how boring it was compared to working in a factory, but how fun it was leaving a lot of time for a life outside work and providing opportunities to meet new people. It sounded fun; it was exactly what I wanted. I was sitting in a desk right in front of Ebru four weeks later. I didn't know that this company would provide me the opportunity to live my dream then, but it was still pleasant to be there.
Ebru was involved in the second important thing that happened to me as well. She was right, now I did have a lot of time to do things other than working. But I didn't really know what to do. Hanging out with people and going to concerts and clubs was fun, but there had to be something more meaningful than that. Ebru filled the gap very quickly, she found a diving club to learn scuba diving. So we did learn scuba diving and I found myself in a whole new world to discover. I felt exactly like Sullivan's avatar in Pandora. I just loved to be under the water and I was amazed by the life and colours down there. Finding tiny creatures hiding in the reef, getting to know the behavior patterns of the animals gave me a happiness that's hard to describe. I had found my passion, the thing that I was born to do.
The third important event was actually a big failure or an unfortunate occurrence that led me to the best thing ever happened to me. I wanted to have more adventures, a different life experience and more independence. I had a job offer from the headquarters in Germany, I had several successful interviews and I had even signed a two year contract. The company applied for my working visa and I wasn't getting any news from them for weeks. I had started getting worried already but they were confident that everything would be sorted out. My boss had found a person to replace me and I had already started handing my job to other colleagues. In the end, nothing was sorted out, the company managed to get a working visa for one year only. They could probably extend it, but I had no faith anymore and I felt that I shouldn't be taking that risk. I didn't go anywhere. I was upset, very upset. I wanted to have a
different life and I couldn't do it. I was so upset that all I wanted to do was to give up everything I had and be a dive instructor in Malvides. I wanted this really bad, so with some encouragement from my mom, I was attending the PADI Instructor Development Course in October 2001. There were four students in the course including a cute guy that owned a dive center and I had no idea that he was my soul mate. This cute guy was going to be the love of my life, my husband, my best friend and the father of my children later.
My collage days have passed watching the cloudy sky from the windows of dark, huge, cold classrooms, the deep voice of the lecturer fading slowly in my brain and me dreaming to be in a beach party on a tropic island. I was sure that I would worship the sun if I was a pagan as for me; sun was the source of vital energy. I would dream of having 12 month long summers, sandy beaches by the blue sea and an easy, peaceful life on an island. Every cold night that I went to bed with my socks on, I would wish I would wake up on a hammock by the beach next morning and I would want that with all my heart.
Of course, none of that happened and I had to graduate from university after going through four long winters in Istanbul. When I became a working young woman, I somehow managed to put those thoughts away in a locked section of my heart. Then, three things happened that changed the course of my life.
The first one was that I started working in adidas after spending several miserable years in factory floors. It happened so smoothly and easily that I didn't even realize what kind of opportunities were about to open up for me. I used to enjoy working in a factory because I was learning tons of interesting stuff. After all, I was a typical engineer, as I still am, and I loved being in the middle of production, where everything happened. However, the working conditions were tough. I was trapped in long working hours and a never ending stress to keep deliveries. I knew I had to change my life when I realized I had no friends left and the only dreams I was having were nightmares of late shipments in a factory setting. When I saw the adidas ad in the newspaper, I just sent my CV without giving it much thought. It was probably the first or second job I had applied after deciding to change my job. The only reason I wanted
to work there was that I didn't want to work in a factory any more. The interview was so funnny. I was interviewed by a Senior Merchandiser named Ebru, and it was everything but a job interview. We had found out that we had graduated from the same university and even spent a few years in the same high school. We had lots of common friends. She had also spent a few years working in factories, so she knew exactly why I was there. She told me all about the life in a liaison office, how boring it was compared to working in a factory, but how fun it was leaving a lot of time for a life outside work and providing opportunities to meet new people. It sounded fun; it was exactly what I wanted. I was sitting in a desk right in front of Ebru four weeks later. I didn't know that this company would provide me the opportunity to live my dream then, but it was still pleasant to be there.
Ebru was involved in the second important thing that happened to me as well. She was right, now I did have a lot of time to do things other than working. But I didn't really know what to do. Hanging out with people and going to concerts and clubs was fun, but there had to be something more meaningful than that. Ebru filled the gap very quickly, she found a diving club to learn scuba diving. So we did learn scuba diving and I found myself in a whole new world to discover. I felt exactly like Sullivan's avatar in Pandora. I just loved to be under the water and I was amazed by the life and colours down there. Finding tiny creatures hiding in the reef, getting to know the behavior patterns of the animals gave me a happiness that's hard to describe. I had found my passion, the thing that I was born to do.
The third important event was actually a big failure or an unfortunate occurrence that led me to the best thing ever happened to me. I wanted to have more adventures, a different life experience and more independence. I had a job offer from the headquarters in Germany, I had several successful interviews and I had even signed a two year contract. The company applied for my working visa and I wasn't getting any news from them for weeks. I had started getting worried already but they were confident that everything would be sorted out. My boss had found a person to replace me and I had already started handing my job to other colleagues. In the end, nothing was sorted out, the company managed to get a working visa for one year only. They could probably extend it, but I had no faith anymore and I felt that I shouldn't be taking that risk. I didn't go anywhere. I was upset, very upset. I wanted to have a
different life and I couldn't do it. I was so upset that all I wanted to do was to give up everything I had and be a dive instructor in Malvides. I wanted this really bad, so with some encouragement from my mom, I was attending the PADI Instructor Development Course in October 2001. There were four students in the course including a cute guy that owned a dive center and I had no idea that he was my soul mate. This cute guy was going to be the love of my life, my husband, my best friend and the father of my children later.
3 Ocak 2010 Pazar
Birth of a new blog
I’d never thought I would be a blogger and I’d love it. Even when I became an enthusiastic blogger, I’d never thought I’d blog in English. I’ve always felt I could express myself much better in my mother language which is Turkish. It is still a very valid fact, but there are two reasons that I decided to start blogging in English. One is that I really enjoy helping people that are new to Jakarta and meeting other fellow bloggers. The other reason is that I have quite a number of family and friends that do not speak Turkish, and I’d like to share my blog with them as well. So here I am, taking the courage to write in English despite all my typos and mistakes.
This blog is completely personal and reflects my own opinion and experiences of our life in Jakarta. It’s more of a diary, a collection of memories. Our family has been living in Jakarta since April 2008. We love living in Indonesia and we have a deep respect to the Indonesians. In my posts, I write about my experiences in Jakarta as a working mother of two.
This blog may or may not be a complete duplicate of the Turkish one. As I know that some of the posts will not make sense or will not give the same feeling when they’re written in English. Anyway, I’m starting the New Year with a new challenge; a brand new blog in English and I’ll do my best to keep it updated as much as possible.
This blog is completely personal and reflects my own opinion and experiences of our life in Jakarta. It’s more of a diary, a collection of memories. Our family has been living in Jakarta since April 2008. We love living in Indonesia and we have a deep respect to the Indonesians. In my posts, I write about my experiences in Jakarta as a working mother of two.
This blog may or may not be a complete duplicate of the Turkish one. As I know that some of the posts will not make sense or will not give the same feeling when they’re written in English. Anyway, I’m starting the New Year with a new challenge; a brand new blog in English and I’ll do my best to keep it updated as much as possible.
Happy New Year to everyone!
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